September 10th, 2001

The following is an e-mail I sent to my friends that was archived by my sister-in-law, Laura. 

The very next day, it was September 11th.  I remember sitting in the living room as they reported the devastation and just weeping at the idea that I'd brought forth this beautiful, innocent being into such a violent world.  Probably a lot of it was just that I was tired.  However, part of it was that I had something to worry about and I felt oddly responsible for the crappy state of things.

Little did I envision that he would be raised in a nation at war.

I used to take my lunch hour and drive 20 minutes to his day-care just to see if he was okay.  I'd drive 20 minutes back and wolf down my lunch in a hurry.  Whenever I'd visit, he'd be quietly sleeping in his crib.  I knew he was okay. 

The next month after this, we took him to Arizona on an airplane flight and I felt some apprehension because it was so soon after the attacks.  It's one thing to take a risk with your own life.  Something else entirely to take a risk with a child who has no say in the matter.

The 9 years since I wrote this have been an absolute joy as his parent.  He's an amazing little man, and I'm very proud of him.  Of course, I was proud of him even before there was real reason to be, but he's lived up to my vision of him and then some. 







Sent: Mon, September 10, 2001 6:46:56 AM


Subject: My Little Boy...

Today is Logan's first day in day care. I went with Tessa to drop him off. He was asleep when we took him in (in his bucket.) I think I'm more emotional about it than Tessa. She probably just hides it.

Last night, I slept with him in my bed until about 1:00 a.m. This morning, I woke up and fed him and got him dressed. He actually smiled at me this morning.

I really wouldn't mind if he slept with me every night. He just sleeps better if he knows somebody else is with him.

It is an amazing thing to be raising a child. Those two months went by in the blink of an eye. Tessa is very ready to be back to work. Logan was driving her nuts. I think she just got stir-crazy. I'd probably feel a lot better if she were home with him. However, she wants to return to work. I think with kid #2, I'll try and see if she might want to stay home.

The tough part is thinking you're leaving your baby with strangers. I really wish I were independently wealthy so I could stay home with him all day.

Saturday morning, Tessa wanted to go to spinning class. So, I got up and watched Logan. He was cranky, so I put on the Def Leppard. He likes to be bounced, so, I bounced him until my arms got tired and he fell asleep to the soothing sounds of "Animal."

We gave him a bath last night in the kitchen sink (we have this giant insert thingie.) He got scared when I used the kitchen squirter to wash his legs off. These are the things I'll probably always remember. I keep trying to live in the here and now. There's something to love about every age they're at. There's something you'll miss, too.

With day care, the normal parental worry is that he'll be taken care of. Not like we're uber-parents or anything, but there's two of us, so we can apply the full-court press. He doesn't ever sit alone crying or anything. I just want them to take good care of my little boy. Bounce him when he's upset. Hold him when he wants to be held. Make sure he gets his binky if that's what he's after.

Looks like the normal routine will be for me to feed Logan in the morning, dress and change him to get him ready for school.