Depression, victory and defeat...

Yesterday I was as depressed as I can ever remember being.  Strange since I got a notice that I'd just been accepted to the law school I applied to.  Trouble is, there's been a lot of other stuff in my life that just sorta sucks.

I finally got caught up on bookkeeping for the biz.  We did have a great month last month, but not so great this month.  Things have really slowed down.  This business has really taken a toll on me lately.  As awesome as it was in 2007-2009, it's that bad, now.  I am doing the best I can, but I sometimes wonder if this thing is going down.  We just need more weather, especially rain.

My grandfather just died.  He was my stepmother's Dad.  Great guy.  Flew bombers in WWII.  Was always very kind to me.  I wasn't a blood relative, but starting in the 2nd grade, they used to pay my airfare to come out and visit them about every other year through High School. 

Some of my fondest memories of childhood are from visiting them.  My grandmother on that side passed away a little while ago, too.

It wasn't unexpected in his case.  He was in the final stages of alzheimer's disease.  Not that you ever wish death on anybody, but honestly, I wouldn't want to keep living like that.    Death isn't a good thing, but once quality if life is gone, sometimes it's not the worst thing. 

I also had a scare recently.  My grandmother had a heart issue.  She's okay, now, but that was a big shock as well.

I think just under the weight of everything, I started to get a little mopey.  I also noticed that I have been eating a very low fat diet the past few days.  Just saw a documentary where they linked low-fat diets to depression.  So, today, I made sure to get some fat. 

All in all, a lot going on.  I've got Navy coming up in April.  I only need to go once more this fiscal year after that.  However, I have to pay my own airfare down to Texas and rent a car.  (Long story.  Basically, I pay my own travel in order to drill with the unit I want to drill with.)

I'm about as broke now as I can ever remember being as an adult.  So, between flying out for my grandpa's memorial service and flying down to Texas, it's going to be a hit.  I honestly can't remember the last time I had to sweat so hard over such small amounts of money.

Sometimes, it just sucks to be me.  I'll survive, but things really blow right now.  I am hoping we get a ton of money in and things look up, soon.