I have maybe another hour's work on my books and then I can submit my stuff to have the CPA do my taxes. Lord only knows if this is too late, though. I bet he hates me; this is pretty late to get my stuff to him.
Today I was in a seriously foul mood. I think a lot of it is that I didn't get much sleep last night.
No word on either acceptance from CWRU or a scholarship from Toledo. All I can do is wait on that. I think I should know on both of them within a couple of weeks, but who knows. It'll be nice to know once and for all.
I'm dead broke right now, but should be getting some money this week. Should be a good chunk. Enough to get current and a little ahead. We picked up a few jobs lately. So if we can pick up a job here and there, and we get some Spring rains, things will be okay.
Trying to stay positive. Lots of negative emotion and feelings about the biz these days. It's hard not to be superstitious, but it feels like the place is doomed right now.
If things don't turn around, I may not last until the Summer. We'll see. Bankruptcy is a real possibility. I may start calling creditors and letting them know that I'll be filing and trying to negotiate offers of settlement before any bankruptcy proceedings.
Of course, if we have a few strong months in a row, all bets are off. This is really wearing my nerves out.
We laid off one more guy last week. Now, we're down to 3 production workers and a marketer, plus me. That's it. If we cut anybody else, it pretty much ceases to be a business and is just me and some trucks.
The weather is really what's killing us. That's got to turn around eventually. Trouble is, it doesn't have to turn around before I go broke. A lot of dustbowl farmers held on thinking the next year would be better.
I don't have a scale, but the workouts and new diet are working really well. I think lower carbs and including lean protien and some fat is the way I need to go. I was really getting out of shape there. My pants were uncomfortable.
I still have a belly, but it's disappearing. I feel more solid all the way around. I'm trying to run 2 times a week and fill in the rest with rowing machine workouts. At my age, I don't want to run more than I need to.
I have to admit: the Navy is a godsend, here. If nothing else, it means that twice a year, I absolutely must get into some semblance of physical condition and try to get into shape so that somebody else can weigh me. If I didn't have it, I can only imagine what sort of horrible shape I'd be in.
I was in a really bad mood all day today. If I declare bankruptcy, I almost certainly need to try and get a deployment so I can at least get a year of decent income. Also, the SSCRA would limit the amount that people could charge for interest on my debts, etc.
It also puts law school in jeopardy. It would mean a year away from my son.
I took him to his baseball practice and he's just killing the ball right now. He's impressing everybody.
The coach, for some reason, had me throw in one of the batting cages. Usually, I don't do that because I'm not a very good pitcher. Still, I did it and it was a workout. (Was throwing maybe 30 pitches to 10 kids.)
It was great because it snapped me out of my funk. I actually feel much better, now.
So, my future? Totally uncertain. God only knows where it'll lead. I sincerely can't say with certainty what I'll be doing six months from now. I hope I can hold it together long enough for Logan to finish his travel baseball season, though.
This is sort of hard times, but honestly, so many people have it worse right now that I have trouble feeling sorry for myself. One way or another, I'll get through this, maybe better than before.
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