Just want to put a shout out to my boy. I was pretty old for a first-time parent. Logan was born when I was 36. Seems like just yesterday. I waited a long time for him and when he came into my life, I could not have been happier.
Every day really has been a joy since he came around. Every phase he ever went through was full of wonder. I just can't imagine my life without him in it.
Every now and then, I'll hear of, or see a frazzled parent who is just sick of their kid (or kids.) I'm not talking about behavioral problem kids or kids with disabilities. I'm just talking about flat-out normal kids. I remember reading an article where a mother was hacked off with her two daughters and as they were walking down the street, the mother was a few steps behind them and flipped them off.
That wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part to me was how many other mothers were supportive and understanding of the action!
I just don't get it. Maybe Dads have it easier. I don't know. Kids don't wreak the havoc on our bodies that they do on their mothers. When Logan needed round the clock feeding as an infant, it was his mother who bore the brunt.
However, I changed at least as many poopy diapers. I got up in the middle of the night with him when he had ear aches. Back in the days when he didn't sleep through the night (due to sleep apnea caused by enlarged adenoids and tonsils, which have since been removed), he did a number on my sleep, too.
Which is to say, I feel like I pitched in equally or moreso on everything other than nursing. I've been tired with him, frustrated and had to handle him when he's been throwing a little tantrum.
Overall, though, those times were very few.
Part of it is that he's not a teen, yet. Maybe he'll get rebellious, then. Who knows.
He's a very well-behaved kid. Doesn't give anybody a hard time. He's sensitive, considerate and polite. In that and so many other ways, it's as though I dreamed him up.
Sometimes I wonder whether the parents who seem to resent their kids so much have kids who are hard to handle specifically because the parents view the kids as some sort of inconvenience in their lives.
Personally, my son is basically the reason for my life. Everything I did prior to this was to prepare me to be a father. I have one shot at this and it doesn't last that long. My time with him is already basically halfway over.
His mother and I are not together anymore. This is my weekend without him. On the one hand, it's nice because I can run errands and catch up on everything that I feel guilty doing when he's here. On the other hand, there's an emptiness in my life when he's gone.
There are so many more lessons he needs to learn. He's already coming to understand that some people are just plain mean. Two girls at school have been known to say cruel things to classmates. Logan also has a team-mate on one of his sports teams who is sarcastic and puts other players down.
As much as possible, I wish I could keep him in a controlled world for as long as possible. However, he has to learn to function in the world as it is, not as I wish it was.
I truly believe that someday, I'll look back on my life, and my only regrets will be in the ways I came up short for the people I loved. The money? The career? That's all such small potatoes. When I'm gone, my only connection to immortality will be my son.
So, yeah, my boy is and always has been a dream come true for me. Probably always will be. No matter how hard I try to resist it, time is moving relentlessly and only in one direction. I'm looking forward to the next 9 years. Once they're gone, I probably won't know what to do with myself.
I guess I could always throw myself wholeheartedly into whatever career I'm doing at the time. Probably not a bad idea because I'll have, at most, maybe another 15 working years, and that'll be it.
Once my son leaves the house, though, I will still have a relationship, but I won't get to see him nearly as much as I wish. We won't be as big a part of each other's lives as I'd want.
Which makes it all the more important to make the most of these days, now. I waited a long time for them. When they're gone, they won't come back again.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
The One Sports Parent Piece of Advice I Will Give This Year
We've seen this type of column written before. Usually, it's an article about how you should be supportive and respectful and teach your kids to be that way. I won't rehash that ground. It's been well-done in the past and I doubt I could add more to it.
However, there's another piece of advice I'd like to give to people with kids in sports.
My son is getting ready to start another year of travel baseball. Really, his "year" never really ends. The season ends in mid-July. He gets maybe a month break, then tryouts for the next year's team. This is a highly selective and competitive program and he needs to make the team every year.
During this "time off" he has private coaching that he goes through to try and stay sharp for the tryouts. Mid October, Fall workouts end and he gets a break until January. During that time, he's also playing football and basketball.
The kid doesn't get a break, but he loves sports. If I made him stay home, he'd hate it.
This has given me a lot of experience as a sports Dad, and there are some things I learned that are worth reiterating.
Note: I'm going to use the masculine in referring to kids, but this applies to female athletes as well.
So, here it is: let the coaches coach. Keep your mouth shut. This is very, very hard. You see your kid playing, he's doing something wrong, and you want to set him on the right path. You are very, very well intentioned on this.
However, you need to resist the urge. Other than cheering for your kid, you need to keep your mouth shut. Why? Because your kid already has a coach. Depending on the team, he may have two or three or four. He's trying to listen to them and focus on the game.
If you've ever tried to do something with 3 or 4 people standing over your shoulder, you are only starting to get the picture.
Now, try doing something with 3 or 4 people not only standing over you, evaluating your every action, but yelling at you, all at once.
Starting to get a clearer picture here?
Now, throw in one more person, who is the uber-person authority figure in your universe, whose voice pierces through all that other noise, who is also yelling at you. While you're trying to focus on what the coach, and maybe the assistant coach are yelling, and while you're trying to pay attention to a game where not only are there a lot of skills involved, with a potential for injury, plus a whole bunch of kids on the other side of the ball trying to make you fail.
The very fact that your kid has to try and keep his ears tuned to see if you're trying to get his attention means he's got that much less focus on the task at hand.
This is not to say that there is never a time for you to speak up. I'll just say that before you do, think twice, then think a third time, then a fourth. The times when you should say something, but don't, will be outnumbered about 50 to 1 with the times when you should have kept your mouth shut but didn't. If you never say anything, you will come out ahead on this, I assure you.
I am no angel on this, trust me. Now, I have vowed to only open my mouth when my son is clearly just drifting off daydreaming, and then, only to say, "Hey, heads up out there!" I also vow not to say this very often... once a day, max, is my goal.
If your kid is playing travel sports, and you didn't play professionally or in college, chances are the coaches on the team know more about the game than you do. Let them coach. You actually make the coaches' job more difficult when you're trying to coach your kid at gametime. Especially if you weren't actively involved in helping at every practice, you just don't know what's been going on, what the coach has been working on, what instruction he's been giving your kid, etc
So, for most travel teams, you will tend to do far more harm than good by trying to coach your kid at gametime.
What about rec league sports? Yeah, sometimes the coaches aren't very good. I actually coached a kids' 3 and 4 year old soccer team. My qualifications were that I had never coached a sport and have never played soccer. When the minimum wage kid running the program at the YMCA/JCC walked up and asked, "Hey, would you mind helping a little bit with the coaching?" I said "no problem" not realizing that I was volunteering for the head coaching job.
Even so, rec league is supposed to be "recreation". Let the coaches coach. Let the kids play. This is supposed to be "play" and recreation is supposed to be fun. Don't take things too seriously. As hard as it is for a hand-selected kid on a travel team to have 3 people yelling at him, it's even harder for a younger kid who might not be playing at a very high level.
This should go without saying, but people don't like having their shortcomings harped on in public. The more you yell at your kid about all the things they're doing wrong, the less they're going to enjoy the game.
Now, we know that sometimes you have to correct your kid. That's part of being a parent. I've heard a rule of thumb that I try to adhere to: for every negative thing you say to a person, you need to have a relationship such that you're saying 5 positive things to them. Same goes for sports. Make sure that there are lots of positive comments and attaboys when they're doing things right. It'll keep the negative comments in perspective.
Please take this one to heart, for your sanity and the mental health of your child: don't try to coach them at gametime. The time to coach them, if you're so inclined and knowledgeable enough, is when you're home, away from the team, getting some quality one on one time with them.
Gametime? They're in front of their friends and a whole lot of strangers. It's easy to inadvertently embarass them.
Spend the time during non-game days if you're determined to coach your child. You'll both be better off for it.
However, there's another piece of advice I'd like to give to people with kids in sports.
My son is getting ready to start another year of travel baseball. Really, his "year" never really ends. The season ends in mid-July. He gets maybe a month break, then tryouts for the next year's team. This is a highly selective and competitive program and he needs to make the team every year.
During this "time off" he has private coaching that he goes through to try and stay sharp for the tryouts. Mid October, Fall workouts end and he gets a break until January. During that time, he's also playing football and basketball.
The kid doesn't get a break, but he loves sports. If I made him stay home, he'd hate it.
This has given me a lot of experience as a sports Dad, and there are some things I learned that are worth reiterating.
Note: I'm going to use the masculine in referring to kids, but this applies to female athletes as well.
So, here it is: let the coaches coach. Keep your mouth shut. This is very, very hard. You see your kid playing, he's doing something wrong, and you want to set him on the right path. You are very, very well intentioned on this.
However, you need to resist the urge. Other than cheering for your kid, you need to keep your mouth shut. Why? Because your kid already has a coach. Depending on the team, he may have two or three or four. He's trying to listen to them and focus on the game.
If you've ever tried to do something with 3 or 4 people standing over your shoulder, you are only starting to get the picture.
Now, try doing something with 3 or 4 people not only standing over you, evaluating your every action, but yelling at you, all at once.
Starting to get a clearer picture here?
Now, throw in one more person, who is the uber-person authority figure in your universe, whose voice pierces through all that other noise, who is also yelling at you. While you're trying to focus on what the coach, and maybe the assistant coach are yelling, and while you're trying to pay attention to a game where not only are there a lot of skills involved, with a potential for injury, plus a whole bunch of kids on the other side of the ball trying to make you fail.
The very fact that your kid has to try and keep his ears tuned to see if you're trying to get his attention means he's got that much less focus on the task at hand.
This is not to say that there is never a time for you to speak up. I'll just say that before you do, think twice, then think a third time, then a fourth. The times when you should say something, but don't, will be outnumbered about 50 to 1 with the times when you should have kept your mouth shut but didn't. If you never say anything, you will come out ahead on this, I assure you.
I am no angel on this, trust me. Now, I have vowed to only open my mouth when my son is clearly just drifting off daydreaming, and then, only to say, "Hey, heads up out there!" I also vow not to say this very often... once a day, max, is my goal.
If your kid is playing travel sports, and you didn't play professionally or in college, chances are the coaches on the team know more about the game than you do. Let them coach. You actually make the coaches' job more difficult when you're trying to coach your kid at gametime. Especially if you weren't actively involved in helping at every practice, you just don't know what's been going on, what the coach has been working on, what instruction he's been giving your kid, etc
So, for most travel teams, you will tend to do far more harm than good by trying to coach your kid at gametime.
What about rec league sports? Yeah, sometimes the coaches aren't very good. I actually coached a kids' 3 and 4 year old soccer team. My qualifications were that I had never coached a sport and have never played soccer. When the minimum wage kid running the program at the YMCA/JCC walked up and asked, "Hey, would you mind helping a little bit with the coaching?" I said "no problem" not realizing that I was volunteering for the head coaching job.
Even so, rec league is supposed to be "recreation". Let the coaches coach. Let the kids play. This is supposed to be "play" and recreation is supposed to be fun. Don't take things too seriously. As hard as it is for a hand-selected kid on a travel team to have 3 people yelling at him, it's even harder for a younger kid who might not be playing at a very high level.
This should go without saying, but people don't like having their shortcomings harped on in public. The more you yell at your kid about all the things they're doing wrong, the less they're going to enjoy the game.
Now, we know that sometimes you have to correct your kid. That's part of being a parent. I've heard a rule of thumb that I try to adhere to: for every negative thing you say to a person, you need to have a relationship such that you're saying 5 positive things to them. Same goes for sports. Make sure that there are lots of positive comments and attaboys when they're doing things right. It'll keep the negative comments in perspective.
Please take this one to heart, for your sanity and the mental health of your child: don't try to coach them at gametime. The time to coach them, if you're so inclined and knowledgeable enough, is when you're home, away from the team, getting some quality one on one time with them.
Gametime? They're in front of their friends and a whole lot of strangers. It's easy to inadvertently embarass them.
Spend the time during non-game days if you're determined to coach your child. You'll both be better off for it.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Adventures in Ice Storms and No Electricity
I feel like I'm only just now settling back into a normal routine after the ice storms that hit us Sunday night / Monday morning.
It took down some power lines and I was without power for days.
I went to help the neighbor start her generator and she had her generator wired up so that it was powering circuits in the house.
I, on the other hand, was just using my generator to run some small space heaters. I also had to run them in low power mode. Turns out, they only kept the house at about 45 degrees. Good enough to keep the pipes from freezing, though.
On Monday, I did some reading up on what was required to use the generator to run circuits in your house, but Lowe's was sold out. I figured I wasn't going to be able to do anything until the next day, and the electric company was saying they were going to have power restored on Tuesday evening.
On Tuesday, they updated their estimate to say that most houses would be restored by Wednesday evening. So, I ran out, bought the transfer switch that would let me hook into a handful of circuits on my main circuit board.
My main concern was my furnace. It was taking every bit of electricity the generator could muster to run those 4 small space heaters because electric heating elements take a LOT of juice.
I got everything hooked up and after some minor troubleshooting, got the furnace running. Unfortunately, the previous owners of my home didn't label any of the circuits. So, by trial and error I found some of the more important ones like the refrigerator and the bedroom where I'm sleeping.
About 3 hours after I finished all that, the power company had the power restored. I'm all set for next time something like this happens, though.
I also fried my generator. It's toast. Lucky for me, my brother was selling a generator and I bought it.
It's amazing how a disruption like that just sort of throws your whole life out of whack. The warehouse (where I have my business) was out of power, too. So, we did a little bit of business, but the work in the office got backed up a bit.
Now, things are back to normal. I can go back to eating right and exercising. Glad that's over. I still need to go to the hardware store and fix a thing or two on the generator and install all the wiring a little more permanently than it is, right now. After that, I'll be ready for the next outage.
It took down some power lines and I was without power for days.
I went to help the neighbor start her generator and she had her generator wired up so that it was powering circuits in the house.
I, on the other hand, was just using my generator to run some small space heaters. I also had to run them in low power mode. Turns out, they only kept the house at about 45 degrees. Good enough to keep the pipes from freezing, though.
On Monday, I did some reading up on what was required to use the generator to run circuits in your house, but Lowe's was sold out. I figured I wasn't going to be able to do anything until the next day, and the electric company was saying they were going to have power restored on Tuesday evening.
On Tuesday, they updated their estimate to say that most houses would be restored by Wednesday evening. So, I ran out, bought the transfer switch that would let me hook into a handful of circuits on my main circuit board.
My main concern was my furnace. It was taking every bit of electricity the generator could muster to run those 4 small space heaters because electric heating elements take a LOT of juice.
I got everything hooked up and after some minor troubleshooting, got the furnace running. Unfortunately, the previous owners of my home didn't label any of the circuits. So, by trial and error I found some of the more important ones like the refrigerator and the bedroom where I'm sleeping.
About 3 hours after I finished all that, the power company had the power restored. I'm all set for next time something like this happens, though.
I also fried my generator. It's toast. Lucky for me, my brother was selling a generator and I bought it.
It's amazing how a disruption like that just sort of throws your whole life out of whack. The warehouse (where I have my business) was out of power, too. So, we did a little bit of business, but the work in the office got backed up a bit.
Now, things are back to normal. I can go back to eating right and exercising. Glad that's over. I still need to go to the hardware store and fix a thing or two on the generator and install all the wiring a little more permanently than it is, right now. After that, I'll be ready for the next outage.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Fitness Tips from a Not-Very Fit Individual
Not sure why I'm inspired to write this. Probably because I got my treadmill room set up. It's still a bit of a mess, but it's convenient and it's working for me. If I have easy access to a treadmill, I find it pretty easy to go and do a workout if I can avoid boredom. In this case, I've done all I can to avoid the boredom. I have stereo speakers for my iPod, a nice TV and a blu-ray player with netflix.
Now, yeah, I'm not a fitness authority. I have spent more of my life out of shape than in-shape. It seems like I'm constantly "getting into shape". So, if I have any expertise, it's probably just because of the sheer number of times I've brought my fitness level up from zero.
So, here are some tips I have. Take or leave them as you will.
1. Don't be discouraged that you can't do "enough". This is probably my biggest single piece of advice and the thing I struggle with most. I remember when I was young, they recommended 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise, 3 times a week. Now, I think it's something like 35 minutes, 4 times a week.
If you can't do 35 minutes, 4 times a week, my advice to you is to just ignore that guidance, entirely. 20 minutes, 3 times a week is infinitely better for you than the alternative. In the USA, the alternative is usually sitting on the couch eating girl scout cookies. 20 minutes every now and then is so superior to not exercising that a meaningful comparison can't really be made. It is infinitely better to do something instead of nothing. Period.
If you can't manage 20, then manage 10. Even doing 5 minutes now and then will beat total inactivity. Don't ever get into the mind-set of, "If I can't do X, then I may as well not do anything at all." Doing nothing at all is the worst possible thing for you to do. Do something, anything. Take the steps instead of the elevator. Wrestle with your kids. Chase them around the front yard. It all adds up and it all has beneficial effects.
So, don't let yourself get discouraged. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You never know where that step will take you.
2. Find the things that work for you, personally. Me? I like having a treadmill in the house. I like to run right at suppertime, right before I eat. Something about that particular exercise does it for me. It doesn't do it for everyone. An exercise that's convenient and pleasant for you to do is superior to one that you consider a hassle.
I know that home exercise equipment gets a bad rap, but frankly, I own a lot of it, and over the years, I've gone through phases where I've worn out each and every one. (Okay, the concept 2 rower hasn't gotten as much use as I'd like, but that one is relatively new.)
Folks will tell you that an elliptical isn't a workout, or that treadmill is inferior to elliptical, or that rowers are the best of the bunch, whatever. They'll say that walking is a waste of time. They'll say that weight-lifting won't cause you to lose weight. They'll say that it's hard to hit your target heart-rate while cycling or rollerblading.
Are those things true? Well... yeah, they're all true to a degree, which is what makes those statements so insidious. All those things will discourage you and talk you out of doing beneficial activities. Ignore them. If you like to lift weights, lift weights. If you like to walk, walk. It's your life, and it's your thing. If you're doing anything at all, you're far better off than most people.
If it works for you, it works for you. All you need is an elevated heart rate while doing something you don't mind doing. So, find what you like and just do it.
3. If you want to lose weight, you're probably going to have to diet. There was one period of my life where I was able to eat anything I wanted and still couldn't get myself above "skin and bone" level. However, my daily workout routine would be something like a 7 mile run, 25 mile bike and 3,000 meter swim workout. That's all in one day, and that was considered an easy day. Hard days had stuff like 20 mile runs, 2 mile swims and 100 mile bike rides in them.
Other than that, I have literally gained weight while in peak mileage training for a marathon. That's how much of a factor diet is in this equation.
So, why exercise? Hey, we're a vain nation and we all want to look better, right? Trust me on this, you can still be on the heavy side, but much healthier. Also, weight isn't the sole measure. A lot of the time, the scale isn't showing much of a difference, but your body is re-shaped and more fit and toned. However, the benefits to your heart health are well worth it, even if your weight loss is negligible.
Once your heart stops working, it's "game over". There's no reset button on this one. So, even if you don't lose weight, the exercise is worth it.
4. There are a lot of things you can do to "diet" that don't involve much sacrifice. How much genuine satisfaction did that Big Mac value meal give you? Seriously. Half the time I eat one, it's poorly prepared, the fries aren't good and the bun is stale. (Unfortunately, the other half of the time, I experience a near-ecstasy, but we'll set that aside for the moment.)
Even the fast food places have healthier alternatives. Me? I will still eat burgers and fries and now and then, I'll go totally off the deep end once in a while. However, I probably get as much satisfaction from a kids meal as I do from a big mac value meal. It's still not good for me. We're talking 500 calories and 200 of them from fat. But compared to the 1,000 calories from a medium big mac value meal (and sorry... I don't usually get the medium), it's a huge improvement.
Yes, you can totally overhaul your diet. You can go on a rice and chicken breast diet (which I do, frequently), but the best diet is one you can sustain. Getting a diet coke instead of a regular coke is HUGE in terms of calories consumed. Drinking Powerade Zero instead of Gatorade with sugar is huge. Getting a McDonald's hamburger instead of a big mac is huge.
To me, these are choices that are easy to make because they don't involve much sacrifice.
It may surprise folks to know what the actual calories are of some of their food choices. The series of "eat this, not that" books is a good thing, in my opinion. The books are exactly what the title suggests. They give guidance like, a Whopper with cheese is 760 calories. A big mac is 540. If you have to chose between the two, go for the Big Mac.
In the example above, that's about 30% fewer calories for what most people would consider a comparable experience.
Trust me on this: if we all consumed 30% fewer calories, we'd all lose weight.
5. If at all possible don't do this alone. Find a workout partner. Walk with a friend. Run with a club. In the age of the internet, if you can't do any of the above, post your workouts on Facebook. Your friends will be encouraging and supportive and it'll give you a chance to brag a little about what you're doing. All this provides encouragement to not give up.
6. The hardest part of any workout? Putting your shoes on. Seriously. The workout is almost never that bad once you get going into it. However, getting ready to do it? Eeeek. I think that's why running in my home is so much easier for me than running outside. If I run in my home, I put on shorts, shoes, and start running.
If I run outside, I probably want a shirt (and certainly any unfortunate spectators want me in a shirt). I want to know when was the last time I drank, and if I drank, how much, because I don't want to be 2 miles out and have to pee, etc.
Look for workouts that involve a minimum of hassle. If you have to change clothes, arrange a sitter, drive someplace, be somewhere at a certain time, every one of those things is a chance for you to say "screw it" and decide to do something else. (See previous comment on girl scout cookies and the couch.)
Get dressed and then let things take their course, but get dressed. Once you get that far, you may find that the rest isn't as bad as you thought.
Anyway, that's all I have for today. Waiting for my son to come over. I should probably throw on some shorts and hit the treadmill for a couple of miles while I'm waiting.
Now, yeah, I'm not a fitness authority. I have spent more of my life out of shape than in-shape. It seems like I'm constantly "getting into shape". So, if I have any expertise, it's probably just because of the sheer number of times I've brought my fitness level up from zero.
So, here are some tips I have. Take or leave them as you will.
1. Don't be discouraged that you can't do "enough". This is probably my biggest single piece of advice and the thing I struggle with most. I remember when I was young, they recommended 20 minutes of cardiovascular exercise, 3 times a week. Now, I think it's something like 35 minutes, 4 times a week.
If you can't do 35 minutes, 4 times a week, my advice to you is to just ignore that guidance, entirely. 20 minutes, 3 times a week is infinitely better for you than the alternative. In the USA, the alternative is usually sitting on the couch eating girl scout cookies. 20 minutes every now and then is so superior to not exercising that a meaningful comparison can't really be made. It is infinitely better to do something instead of nothing. Period.
If you can't manage 20, then manage 10. Even doing 5 minutes now and then will beat total inactivity. Don't ever get into the mind-set of, "If I can't do X, then I may as well not do anything at all." Doing nothing at all is the worst possible thing for you to do. Do something, anything. Take the steps instead of the elevator. Wrestle with your kids. Chase them around the front yard. It all adds up and it all has beneficial effects.
So, don't let yourself get discouraged. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. You never know where that step will take you.
2. Find the things that work for you, personally. Me? I like having a treadmill in the house. I like to run right at suppertime, right before I eat. Something about that particular exercise does it for me. It doesn't do it for everyone. An exercise that's convenient and pleasant for you to do is superior to one that you consider a hassle.
I know that home exercise equipment gets a bad rap, but frankly, I own a lot of it, and over the years, I've gone through phases where I've worn out each and every one. (Okay, the concept 2 rower hasn't gotten as much use as I'd like, but that one is relatively new.)
Folks will tell you that an elliptical isn't a workout, or that treadmill is inferior to elliptical, or that rowers are the best of the bunch, whatever. They'll say that walking is a waste of time. They'll say that weight-lifting won't cause you to lose weight. They'll say that it's hard to hit your target heart-rate while cycling or rollerblading.
Are those things true? Well... yeah, they're all true to a degree, which is what makes those statements so insidious. All those things will discourage you and talk you out of doing beneficial activities. Ignore them. If you like to lift weights, lift weights. If you like to walk, walk. It's your life, and it's your thing. If you're doing anything at all, you're far better off than most people.
If it works for you, it works for you. All you need is an elevated heart rate while doing something you don't mind doing. So, find what you like and just do it.
3. If you want to lose weight, you're probably going to have to diet. There was one period of my life where I was able to eat anything I wanted and still couldn't get myself above "skin and bone" level. However, my daily workout routine would be something like a 7 mile run, 25 mile bike and 3,000 meter swim workout. That's all in one day, and that was considered an easy day. Hard days had stuff like 20 mile runs, 2 mile swims and 100 mile bike rides in them.
Other than that, I have literally gained weight while in peak mileage training for a marathon. That's how much of a factor diet is in this equation.
So, why exercise? Hey, we're a vain nation and we all want to look better, right? Trust me on this, you can still be on the heavy side, but much healthier. Also, weight isn't the sole measure. A lot of the time, the scale isn't showing much of a difference, but your body is re-shaped and more fit and toned. However, the benefits to your heart health are well worth it, even if your weight loss is negligible.
Once your heart stops working, it's "game over". There's no reset button on this one. So, even if you don't lose weight, the exercise is worth it.
4. There are a lot of things you can do to "diet" that don't involve much sacrifice. How much genuine satisfaction did that Big Mac value meal give you? Seriously. Half the time I eat one, it's poorly prepared, the fries aren't good and the bun is stale. (Unfortunately, the other half of the time, I experience a near-ecstasy, but we'll set that aside for the moment.)
Even the fast food places have healthier alternatives. Me? I will still eat burgers and fries and now and then, I'll go totally off the deep end once in a while. However, I probably get as much satisfaction from a kids meal as I do from a big mac value meal. It's still not good for me. We're talking 500 calories and 200 of them from fat. But compared to the 1,000 calories from a medium big mac value meal (and sorry... I don't usually get the medium), it's a huge improvement.
Yes, you can totally overhaul your diet. You can go on a rice and chicken breast diet (which I do, frequently), but the best diet is one you can sustain. Getting a diet coke instead of a regular coke is HUGE in terms of calories consumed. Drinking Powerade Zero instead of Gatorade with sugar is huge. Getting a McDonald's hamburger instead of a big mac is huge.
To me, these are choices that are easy to make because they don't involve much sacrifice.
It may surprise folks to know what the actual calories are of some of their food choices. The series of "eat this, not that" books is a good thing, in my opinion. The books are exactly what the title suggests. They give guidance like, a Whopper with cheese is 760 calories. A big mac is 540. If you have to chose between the two, go for the Big Mac.
In the example above, that's about 30% fewer calories for what most people would consider a comparable experience.
Trust me on this: if we all consumed 30% fewer calories, we'd all lose weight.
5. If at all possible don't do this alone. Find a workout partner. Walk with a friend. Run with a club. In the age of the internet, if you can't do any of the above, post your workouts on Facebook. Your friends will be encouraging and supportive and it'll give you a chance to brag a little about what you're doing. All this provides encouragement to not give up.
6. The hardest part of any workout? Putting your shoes on. Seriously. The workout is almost never that bad once you get going into it. However, getting ready to do it? Eeeek. I think that's why running in my home is so much easier for me than running outside. If I run in my home, I put on shorts, shoes, and start running.
If I run outside, I probably want a shirt (and certainly any unfortunate spectators want me in a shirt). I want to know when was the last time I drank, and if I drank, how much, because I don't want to be 2 miles out and have to pee, etc.
Look for workouts that involve a minimum of hassle. If you have to change clothes, arrange a sitter, drive someplace, be somewhere at a certain time, every one of those things is a chance for you to say "screw it" and decide to do something else. (See previous comment on girl scout cookies and the couch.)
Get dressed and then let things take their course, but get dressed. Once you get that far, you may find that the rest isn't as bad as you thought.
Anyway, that's all I have for today. Waiting for my son to come over. I should probably throw on some shorts and hit the treadmill for a couple of miles while I'm waiting.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Whole lotta stuff...
Logan has been working on his two michael jackson moves: the moonwalk and the slide turn. The moonwalk? He's got that down in that way where kids can do something clearly better than most people can, and you can see how they're not that far from how the pros do it.
The slide turn? He's got that down so well that it's almost eerie. It looks absolutely fabulous. Hard to describe these things in text, but next time you see him, ask him to show you.
He played basketball today in the Highland vs. Highland game. His elementary school has two teams in the rec league. His team lost, but he scored 3. For the past several games, he's scored 1 out of every 5 of the team's points. So, he's holding his own very nicely.
I think if we work at it in the off-season, he has a shot at making a travel team. At his age, he's like a sponge. Give him a little practice and he improves by leaps and bounds week to week.
Took the LSAT today and it was interesting. I didn't do as well as I had hoped. There were a total of 5 multiple choice sections. The first? I only answered about 20 of the 25 questions. I just took too long with a few of the harder questions earlier on.
The second through fourth section, I did great. Finished each one with time to spare. In fact, one of them, I had about 10 minutes to spare.
The last section, I didn't do well at all. It's the one where they spell out a scenario. Like, "A city has two plow trucks. They have to plow Jones, Main, Second street, etc..." Then, they spell out a bunch of rules. "The truck that plows Jones has to plow Main immediately afterwards. The truck that plows Second street also has to plow Maple..."
Then, they ask questions like, "If plow truck #2 plows Maple as the 2nd street on its route, which of the following is impossible: a. Truck #1 plowed Main Street. B. Truck #1 plowed Second street..."
I only answered about 10 of the 25 questions, so that was a farging disaster.
I guess if I really did poorly, I could always take the test again. I am pretty sure I did well enough on the other sections that I got an overall good score, but probably something like 80th percentile, instead of 95th.
Now, all I can do is wait for the result.
Oh, and three things sort of hacked me off today.
First, at one point, you have to show a proctor an ID. I presented my military ID. At which point, the proctor said, "What's this? Where's your driver's license? I don't think you can use this."
I said, "No, it says on the LSAT materials that a military ID is fine."
Then, a woman behind me chimed in, "Yeah, any photo ID is acceptable."
(Ummm... no, woman, it isn't. I also don't recall asking for your help.)
Finally, begrudgingly, the proctor accepted my military ID.
She was a cranky old bird. There were two other proctors and they were awesome.
Later, I had just finished the 3rd section of the test. After the 3rd section, you get a 15 minute break.
However, I had like 10 minutes to go before time ran out. So, you can go to the restroom if you raise your hand. We entered the auditorium at 8:30, and at this point, it was like 11:45.
The cranky bird came over. "I need to use the restroom."
She said, "It's almost time for the break."
I said, "Well, the break isn't for another 10 minutes."
In as agitated a manner as possible, she acquiesced. "Go!"
I mean, 10 minutes, not that big of a deal, but I knew it wasn't like they were going to spring us the second the section was over. They had to gather up all the tests and secure them, etc. It was going to be 20 minutes, minimum.
Besides, it was boring as balls to just sit there once you finished a section.
The other minor annoyance was a guy behind me who was hacking up a lung. Sounded like the damned TB ward. It was irritating, but for the most part, I was able to tune it out.
Worse than that was some corpulent **** in front of me who kept farting. Nasty, nasty ones, like he ate beans and sauerkraut the night before. Good lord, dude.
That probably did distract me a few times but ultimately, I doubt it affected my score.
Like I said, there were 5 multiple choice sections, but one of them isn't going to be graded. Apparently, the LSAT people use that section to evaluate questions for future tests. If it turns out that the section I didn't finish is the one they don't grade, that'll be great. I do know that the section I only finished half of is one that will be graded, since it was the only section with those style of logic problems on it.
Lastly, we had to do a writing sample. We were presented with a story, and we had to chose one of two possible positions on the story and write an essay espousing that position vis a vis a couple of decision criteria. In theory, you should have been able to chose either positions and they were both equally valid.
From what I was reading, though, one of the choices was clearly superior to the other. I had to keep re-reading the scenario a few times to make sure I wasn't missing something.
In any event, the writing sample isn't graded. It's simply forwarded to the schools you're applying to on the off chance that they care.
I had to hand-write the thing in pencil, but I finished the whole thing in 15 minutes, max.
Now, I guess I just wait. It takes approximately 3 weeks to get your results back. I did so poorly on that logic section that I thought about cancelling my score, but again, I'm going to take the chance that it's good enough, even if it wasn't my best effort.
Business has been pretty good lately. We have a lot of A/R and WIP and the A/R is maturing into cash on an almost daily basis. At the rate we're going, we have work lined up through March and maybe April, too. That's as good as things get in this business.
We've pretty much turned our corner and we just need a string of good months to get healthy.
I also have a potential buyer coming to look at the business. The timing isn't exactly perfect, but honestly, it isn't all that bad. I don't like the trends in the industry, though my franchisor is particularly strong. Mostly, I really need to do something else. One big change in the past 6 years is that my franchise is essentially non-scalable, now.
Used to be that you bought one territory, developed it, bought another, developed it, etc. They had a business plan that eventually had you with 4 territories, debt-free and fully-managed (meaning you were divorced from day-to-day operations.)
They are clearly going 180 degrees in the opposite direction, now. They clearly want each owner to own one territory and squeeze all they can out of that.
If they had been like this when I was evaluating businesses, I wouldn't have bought. Scalability was near the top of my list of criteria.
Heck, even if you own a haircut place and only pull out $20 or 30K a year, that's not a problem so long as you own 10 of the suckers, with plans to eventually own 20 or 30 of them.
If you can't scale-up, though, it's too much like just buying a job. I made six figures back when I had a job. I also didn't have the downside risk of months of losing money, either. So, if I'm going to have a job, I'm not going to have my net-worth tied up into it with the potential to have to sell off all my guitars every three or four years.
I won't panic sell my biz. They'll still have to pay up to get it, but if they meet my number, it won't bother me to sell. Of course, I'll have to figure out what I'll do next, but that's not a problem.
My general philosophy of life is that it's a shame it's so short. There are so many things I'd like to do that I just won't ever have the time to try.
The slide turn? He's got that down so well that it's almost eerie. It looks absolutely fabulous. Hard to describe these things in text, but next time you see him, ask him to show you.
He played basketball today in the Highland vs. Highland game. His elementary school has two teams in the rec league. His team lost, but he scored 3. For the past several games, he's scored 1 out of every 5 of the team's points. So, he's holding his own very nicely.
I think if we work at it in the off-season, he has a shot at making a travel team. At his age, he's like a sponge. Give him a little practice and he improves by leaps and bounds week to week.
Took the LSAT today and it was interesting. I didn't do as well as I had hoped. There were a total of 5 multiple choice sections. The first? I only answered about 20 of the 25 questions. I just took too long with a few of the harder questions earlier on.
The second through fourth section, I did great. Finished each one with time to spare. In fact, one of them, I had about 10 minutes to spare.
The last section, I didn't do well at all. It's the one where they spell out a scenario. Like, "A city has two plow trucks. They have to plow Jones, Main, Second street, etc..." Then, they spell out a bunch of rules. "The truck that plows Jones has to plow Main immediately afterwards. The truck that plows Second street also has to plow Maple..."
Then, they ask questions like, "If plow truck #2 plows Maple as the 2nd street on its route, which of the following is impossible: a. Truck #1 plowed Main Street. B. Truck #1 plowed Second street..."
I only answered about 10 of the 25 questions, so that was a farging disaster.
I guess if I really did poorly, I could always take the test again. I am pretty sure I did well enough on the other sections that I got an overall good score, but probably something like 80th percentile, instead of 95th.
Now, all I can do is wait for the result.
Oh, and three things sort of hacked me off today.
First, at one point, you have to show a proctor an ID. I presented my military ID. At which point, the proctor said, "What's this? Where's your driver's license? I don't think you can use this."
I said, "No, it says on the LSAT materials that a military ID is fine."
Then, a woman behind me chimed in, "Yeah, any photo ID is acceptable."
(Ummm... no, woman, it isn't. I also don't recall asking for your help.)
Finally, begrudgingly, the proctor accepted my military ID.
She was a cranky old bird. There were two other proctors and they were awesome.
Later, I had just finished the 3rd section of the test. After the 3rd section, you get a 15 minute break.
However, I had like 10 minutes to go before time ran out. So, you can go to the restroom if you raise your hand. We entered the auditorium at 8:30, and at this point, it was like 11:45.
The cranky bird came over. "I need to use the restroom."
She said, "It's almost time for the break."
I said, "Well, the break isn't for another 10 minutes."
In as agitated a manner as possible, she acquiesced. "Go!"
I mean, 10 minutes, not that big of a deal, but I knew it wasn't like they were going to spring us the second the section was over. They had to gather up all the tests and secure them, etc. It was going to be 20 minutes, minimum.
Besides, it was boring as balls to just sit there once you finished a section.
The other minor annoyance was a guy behind me who was hacking up a lung. Sounded like the damned TB ward. It was irritating, but for the most part, I was able to tune it out.
Worse than that was some corpulent **** in front of me who kept farting. Nasty, nasty ones, like he ate beans and sauerkraut the night before. Good lord, dude.
That probably did distract me a few times but ultimately, I doubt it affected my score.
Like I said, there were 5 multiple choice sections, but one of them isn't going to be graded. Apparently, the LSAT people use that section to evaluate questions for future tests. If it turns out that the section I didn't finish is the one they don't grade, that'll be great. I do know that the section I only finished half of is one that will be graded, since it was the only section with those style of logic problems on it.
Lastly, we had to do a writing sample. We were presented with a story, and we had to chose one of two possible positions on the story and write an essay espousing that position vis a vis a couple of decision criteria. In theory, you should have been able to chose either positions and they were both equally valid.
From what I was reading, though, one of the choices was clearly superior to the other. I had to keep re-reading the scenario a few times to make sure I wasn't missing something.
In any event, the writing sample isn't graded. It's simply forwarded to the schools you're applying to on the off chance that they care.
I had to hand-write the thing in pencil, but I finished the whole thing in 15 minutes, max.
Now, I guess I just wait. It takes approximately 3 weeks to get your results back. I did so poorly on that logic section that I thought about cancelling my score, but again, I'm going to take the chance that it's good enough, even if it wasn't my best effort.
Business has been pretty good lately. We have a lot of A/R and WIP and the A/R is maturing into cash on an almost daily basis. At the rate we're going, we have work lined up through March and maybe April, too. That's as good as things get in this business.
We've pretty much turned our corner and we just need a string of good months to get healthy.
I also have a potential buyer coming to look at the business. The timing isn't exactly perfect, but honestly, it isn't all that bad. I don't like the trends in the industry, though my franchisor is particularly strong. Mostly, I really need to do something else. One big change in the past 6 years is that my franchise is essentially non-scalable, now.
Used to be that you bought one territory, developed it, bought another, developed it, etc. They had a business plan that eventually had you with 4 territories, debt-free and fully-managed (meaning you were divorced from day-to-day operations.)
They are clearly going 180 degrees in the opposite direction, now. They clearly want each owner to own one territory and squeeze all they can out of that.
If they had been like this when I was evaluating businesses, I wouldn't have bought. Scalability was near the top of my list of criteria.
Heck, even if you own a haircut place and only pull out $20 or 30K a year, that's not a problem so long as you own 10 of the suckers, with plans to eventually own 20 or 30 of them.
If you can't scale-up, though, it's too much like just buying a job. I made six figures back when I had a job. I also didn't have the downside risk of months of losing money, either. So, if I'm going to have a job, I'm not going to have my net-worth tied up into it with the potential to have to sell off all my guitars every three or four years.
I won't panic sell my biz. They'll still have to pay up to get it, but if they meet my number, it won't bother me to sell. Of course, I'll have to figure out what I'll do next, but that's not a problem.
My general philosophy of life is that it's a shame it's so short. There are so many things I'd like to do that I just won't ever have the time to try.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Timing is Everything...
Now that the business is almost back on solid footing, I feel like I can start playing offense, instead of playing defense. Playing defense isn't much fun, and I've been doing it for 2 years, now.
Now that things are moving forward, I have two basic goals in the business.
1. To buy some real estate
2. To diversify the business holdings
For all sorts of reasons, the diversification is a good idea. If nothing else, these past 2 years have shown me that having all your eggs in one basket is great when the basket is doing well. When it's not, you don't have any eggs left.
As for real estate, I'm a bit bummed. There was a piece of property that I absolutely am in love with. The location is good. It's a huge office building and a huge warehouse that used to be a motor sports dealership.
The dealership went out of business years ago. However, when I'd inquire about buying, it was obvious that the owners were in pretty deep and were holding out trying to get a price that would get them healthy again. They were asking about $2 million for a property I would have thought might be worth $1.
Now, it's RE-owned, and the whole shebang is going for about $900,000. Worth every penny, if you ask me. The offices are expensive. In fact, it's really meant to be home to two companies. It's got 4 conference rooms and tons of really good looking, impressive space.
Of course, I can't buy. I don't have the money for a down payment and it'll be at least a year of digging out, maybe two, before I'm no longer in a hole.
Granted, the same forces that probably conspired to make this thing RE-owned in the first place are what decimated my business. The economy has sucked for everybody. Still, this one would have been nice.
I just signed a two year lease, too. So, who knows. I can try to line up my ducks and see if the place is still available two years from now. In the mean time, all I can do is remind myself that a lot of nice commercial property is coming on line.
It sure would be nice if I could get back into the position I was in way back in mid-2009. Life was good back then. In the mean time, I'm just doing what I can to not act shell-shocked by the ride I've been on (and am still going through.)
Now that things are moving forward, I have two basic goals in the business.
1. To buy some real estate
2. To diversify the business holdings
For all sorts of reasons, the diversification is a good idea. If nothing else, these past 2 years have shown me that having all your eggs in one basket is great when the basket is doing well. When it's not, you don't have any eggs left.
As for real estate, I'm a bit bummed. There was a piece of property that I absolutely am in love with. The location is good. It's a huge office building and a huge warehouse that used to be a motor sports dealership.
The dealership went out of business years ago. However, when I'd inquire about buying, it was obvious that the owners were in pretty deep and were holding out trying to get a price that would get them healthy again. They were asking about $2 million for a property I would have thought might be worth $1.
Now, it's RE-owned, and the whole shebang is going for about $900,000. Worth every penny, if you ask me. The offices are expensive. In fact, it's really meant to be home to two companies. It's got 4 conference rooms and tons of really good looking, impressive space.
Of course, I can't buy. I don't have the money for a down payment and it'll be at least a year of digging out, maybe two, before I'm no longer in a hole.
Granted, the same forces that probably conspired to make this thing RE-owned in the first place are what decimated my business. The economy has sucked for everybody. Still, this one would have been nice.
I just signed a two year lease, too. So, who knows. I can try to line up my ducks and see if the place is still available two years from now. In the mean time, all I can do is remind myself that a lot of nice commercial property is coming on line.
It sure would be nice if I could get back into the position I was in way back in mid-2009. Life was good back then. In the mean time, I'm just doing what I can to not act shell-shocked by the ride I've been on (and am still going through.)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Child Abuse Blog Post
Interesting evening last night. Logan is on a huge Michael Jackson kick, so I rented a DVD of the TV miniseries "The Jacksons, An American Dream".
Michael Jackson is a bit of a delicate topic, in my opinion. So, as I describe his talent and drive in the most glowing terms possible, I also point out that Michael was an absolute mess. Logan asks why, and I point out that at least some of it can be traced back to an abusive childhood. His Dad was just plain mean.
Although it appears to have stopped short of coming to blows, his father clearly believed in whipping the boys with a switch and in a scene or two, things degenerate into a shoving match.
Later, in a scene in Friday Night Lights, one of the parents of a High School student strikes his son several times.
I also heard an absolutely heart-wrenching account on "This American Life" by a man who had been molested as a child. Actually, "molested" is putting it too mildly. He was just flat-out raped.
One of the tools his rapist used was telling him that if he told his parents that his parents would be angry with the child, or somesuch.
So, there are two things I wanted my son to know.
The first was that nobody is allowed to hurt him.
I said it to him in those words. "Nobody is allowed to hurt you, Logan. Nobody is allowed to punch you or harm you in any way. If anybody says they're going to hurt you, find an adult and have them contact me right away."
The second is something that's going to take some subtlety to let him know. I want him to know that he can always come to me, with anything. When he's a teenager, I want him to know that I draw a hard line about driving if he's been drinking, or getting into a car with somebody who has been drinking. However, hand-in-hand with that, I need him to know he can call me at any hour, day or night, and I'll come get him.
Yeah, I'd rather he didn't drink, and I'd really rather he didn't drink to excess. However, that desire is much smaller than my desire that he not place his life, or the lives of others, in jeopardy.
If anybody tried to hurt him, I'd want him to know that no matter what they say, that he can always come to me afterwards.
Kids are, by nature, naive and easily manipulated. I just need to make sure that he knows that the real perspective on this is: heaven help anybody foolish enough to **** with my child. I haven't spent this much of my life gaining proficiency with weaponry to sit back and let somebody hurt my boy.
He said, "Dad, you told me it's okay for me to defend myself if somebody attacks me."
Yes, son. That's if the kid is about your size. But if they're a lot bigger, you run and get an adult and tell them to call me.
I had to tell him a little bit about bullies a bit earlier than I would have liked to because we used to have a neighbor who was more than a little bit violent. Unfortunately, a different neighbor kid was smaller in stature than the bully and the bully used to pick on him. It resulted in me having a very short fuse with the bully and sending him home almost every time he came over to play.
The kids were young back then. Logan was maybe 4, and the bully was about 5. However, I told him, "Logan if X ever hits you, you punch him in the face as hard as you possibly can. You do whatever you have to do to hurt him."
Logan said, "I will, Dad."
I said, "he may still punch you, but you have to hit him hard."
When I said that, it sort of scared Logan. He was too young to want to be punched.
The reality in that case, though, is that a bully doesn't want somebody who is going to fight back, even if the bully can take him. If some kid bloodies the bully's nose, he will find somebody else to pick on next time.
(As an aside, my concerns were probably not very well founded. I remember one day when the bully kid and is brother came over to play. I eventually heard he and Logan screaming at each other and the bully left the house, all angry.
I asked what in the world happened and the brother said, "Logan punched him in the head."
I said, "Logan get up here, what in the world is going on?"
The brother said, "They were boxing".
Apparently, they found some of my old sparring gear and were boxing. The neighbor bully left when Logan caught him with a good one.)
With genuine child abuse, though, or a bully that's entirely too old for Logan to handle, there's nothing he can do to help the situation. He needs to call a parent.
I don't believe in corporal punishment. I didn't oppose it until Logan was born and it became obvious to me that there were so many other ways to handle discipline that smacking a little kid just wasn't necessary.
If I'm not going to lay a hand on my kid, nobody else is allowed to either. I just want to make sure he's got that clear in his mind, too. It's just never okay to physically harm a child, and he needs to know that he's entitled to that protection.
Michael Jackson is a bit of a delicate topic, in my opinion. So, as I describe his talent and drive in the most glowing terms possible, I also point out that Michael was an absolute mess. Logan asks why, and I point out that at least some of it can be traced back to an abusive childhood. His Dad was just plain mean.
Although it appears to have stopped short of coming to blows, his father clearly believed in whipping the boys with a switch and in a scene or two, things degenerate into a shoving match.
Later, in a scene in Friday Night Lights, one of the parents of a High School student strikes his son several times.
I also heard an absolutely heart-wrenching account on "This American Life" by a man who had been molested as a child. Actually, "molested" is putting it too mildly. He was just flat-out raped.
One of the tools his rapist used was telling him that if he told his parents that his parents would be angry with the child, or somesuch.
So, there are two things I wanted my son to know.
The first was that nobody is allowed to hurt him.
I said it to him in those words. "Nobody is allowed to hurt you, Logan. Nobody is allowed to punch you or harm you in any way. If anybody says they're going to hurt you, find an adult and have them contact me right away."
The second is something that's going to take some subtlety to let him know. I want him to know that he can always come to me, with anything. When he's a teenager, I want him to know that I draw a hard line about driving if he's been drinking, or getting into a car with somebody who has been drinking. However, hand-in-hand with that, I need him to know he can call me at any hour, day or night, and I'll come get him.
Yeah, I'd rather he didn't drink, and I'd really rather he didn't drink to excess. However, that desire is much smaller than my desire that he not place his life, or the lives of others, in jeopardy.
If anybody tried to hurt him, I'd want him to know that no matter what they say, that he can always come to me afterwards.
Kids are, by nature, naive and easily manipulated. I just need to make sure that he knows that the real perspective on this is: heaven help anybody foolish enough to **** with my child. I haven't spent this much of my life gaining proficiency with weaponry to sit back and let somebody hurt my boy.
He said, "Dad, you told me it's okay for me to defend myself if somebody attacks me."
Yes, son. That's if the kid is about your size. But if they're a lot bigger, you run and get an adult and tell them to call me.
I had to tell him a little bit about bullies a bit earlier than I would have liked to because we used to have a neighbor who was more than a little bit violent. Unfortunately, a different neighbor kid was smaller in stature than the bully and the bully used to pick on him. It resulted in me having a very short fuse with the bully and sending him home almost every time he came over to play.
The kids were young back then. Logan was maybe 4, and the bully was about 5. However, I told him, "Logan if X ever hits you, you punch him in the face as hard as you possibly can. You do whatever you have to do to hurt him."
Logan said, "I will, Dad."
I said, "he may still punch you, but you have to hit him hard."
When I said that, it sort of scared Logan. He was too young to want to be punched.
The reality in that case, though, is that a bully doesn't want somebody who is going to fight back, even if the bully can take him. If some kid bloodies the bully's nose, he will find somebody else to pick on next time.
(As an aside, my concerns were probably not very well founded. I remember one day when the bully kid and is brother came over to play. I eventually heard he and Logan screaming at each other and the bully left the house, all angry.
I asked what in the world happened and the brother said, "Logan punched him in the head."
I said, "Logan get up here, what in the world is going on?"
The brother said, "They were boxing".
Apparently, they found some of my old sparring gear and were boxing. The neighbor bully left when Logan caught him with a good one.)
With genuine child abuse, though, or a bully that's entirely too old for Logan to handle, there's nothing he can do to help the situation. He needs to call a parent.
I don't believe in corporal punishment. I didn't oppose it until Logan was born and it became obvious to me that there were so many other ways to handle discipline that smacking a little kid just wasn't necessary.
If I'm not going to lay a hand on my kid, nobody else is allowed to either. I just want to make sure he's got that clear in his mind, too. It's just never okay to physically harm a child, and he needs to know that he's entitled to that protection.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Everything and Your Momma Blog Post
Been meaning to post for a while, but haven't gotten around to it. It's not that I don't have stuff to blog about, it's more like I have too much to blog about.
Work is busy these days, which is good. We need quite a few strong months to help us recover from a whole lot of bad ones. Seems like we're turning a corner, but the trouble with disasters is that you can't predict when they'll happen. For the time being, we appear to be crawling out of the hole somewhat.
The more I do this, the more I'm sure that it takes a special kind of person to be an entrepreneur. The level of uncertainty is enough to make you crazy. Especially a business like mine that has seen highs and lows, it can really test your fortitude over time.
When things were running straight up, it was a joy. Not so fun on the way down. Now, though, let's hope we're finally rightsized and have some good times ahead. Both me and my guys could use a little blue sky (economically).
Logan started workouts for the Spring travel season. It feels like he's an old pro at this. Hard to believe last year was his first year of it. I remember when the season started, remarking, "Boy, the difference in these kids after the off-season program is astounding. There's no comparison between this and where they were at the end of rec last year."
Another Dad who had an older son said that by the end of the season, they'd improve just as much, and they really had.
They came to this season's workouts even better than I remember them being. Logan has moved up to a 19 ounce bat, and is swinging it really well. We had a devil of a time finding the right bat for him last year. I bet I spent $1,000 in the quest for exacalibur. One of the bats I bought is the one he's using now, though.
His throwing has improved tremendously. I hope he gets to work out with the pitchers this year. I've mentioned to the coach that he would like to pitch. We'll just see where it goes from there.
His batting has moved up a notch as well. He spent a lot of time with a hitting coach in the off-season and right now, his swing is pretty amazing.
I can't wait for the season to begin.
Logan is crazy about basketball right now because that's what he's playing. In the off-season I will try to sign him up for camps and other activities. He's got a lot of room for improvement in basketball, but he also has a lot of potential.
I don't want to push him into things, but I don't want him to fall short of his potential due to lack of guidance and support, either.
I am thinking a lot about his life after High School. Yes, he's only 9, but I'm his dad. I was looking at tuition and it looks like Ohio State is probably going to be our best bet. He'll have to work to get in. However, it's not unattainable.
He's been in love with the idea of going to OSU for about as long as he could talk. It'd be great if that's where he goes.
He asked me the other day if I thought he could ever play professional sports. Tough question, that. On the one hand, yeah, I know, the adult answer is that it's about like winning the lottery. If you added up the NFL, MLB and NBA players, you'd be talking about less than 2,000 guys. And they're recruited from all over the world.
So, frankly, getting into any of those at the professional level involves, in my opinion, exceptional athletic ability, combined with an exceptional work-ethic and probably a little bit of cheating with whatever performance enhancing drugs are being used at the time.
The reason I don't want to quash that dream, though, is not because I believe he will be a professional athlete, but because I believe that if sports is something he loves, he owes it to himself to be as good as he can possibly be.
If he aims for the NBA, and puts all his effort into basketball, and only plays High School basketball, that's farther than he would have gone without dedication and drive. He'd always have that to look back on fondly.
I think sometimes it doesn't matter so much what, exactly, you steer your kids into, but that the things they do are opportunities for you to teach them life lessons. First, to keep trying, even when things get hard. Second, that it takes hard work to achieve anything worthwhile. Third, that they should do what it takes to do the things they do well.
If Logan loved, say, airplanes, I'd do what I could to steer him that way. If he loved music, he'd have it made because there's almost no extreme I wouldn't go to in order to help him achieve that way.
The kid is just a jock. What can you say? I'm as surprised as you are. Given my (lack of) athletic ability, it's a little surprising that my kid would be athletic. He benefits from being built more like his mother, though. Long limbed and well built. One way or another, he's really got good skills. And any discussion of this would be incomplete if I didn't mention that he's always been absolutely the youngest kid on any team he's ever been on.
So, as long as he does sports, I want him to do them well, and I want to help him in any way I can.
Next year, we'll have tackle football, too. He's really looking forward to that.
Main focus this year, though, will be basketball. I need to get in shape, anyway, and I can do a lot of workouts with him in hoops.
So, the travel season is at hand. There's just nothing like it. It's a phenomenal experience.
Time keeps marching and with every month, my debt drops little by little and I manage to keep my head above water. Granted, I'd like more, but in this economy, I'll take it.
Work is busy these days, which is good. We need quite a few strong months to help us recover from a whole lot of bad ones. Seems like we're turning a corner, but the trouble with disasters is that you can't predict when they'll happen. For the time being, we appear to be crawling out of the hole somewhat.
The more I do this, the more I'm sure that it takes a special kind of person to be an entrepreneur. The level of uncertainty is enough to make you crazy. Especially a business like mine that has seen highs and lows, it can really test your fortitude over time.
When things were running straight up, it was a joy. Not so fun on the way down. Now, though, let's hope we're finally rightsized and have some good times ahead. Both me and my guys could use a little blue sky (economically).
Logan started workouts for the Spring travel season. It feels like he's an old pro at this. Hard to believe last year was his first year of it. I remember when the season started, remarking, "Boy, the difference in these kids after the off-season program is astounding. There's no comparison between this and where they were at the end of rec last year."
Another Dad who had an older son said that by the end of the season, they'd improve just as much, and they really had.
They came to this season's workouts even better than I remember them being. Logan has moved up to a 19 ounce bat, and is swinging it really well. We had a devil of a time finding the right bat for him last year. I bet I spent $1,000 in the quest for exacalibur. One of the bats I bought is the one he's using now, though.
His throwing has improved tremendously. I hope he gets to work out with the pitchers this year. I've mentioned to the coach that he would like to pitch. We'll just see where it goes from there.
His batting has moved up a notch as well. He spent a lot of time with a hitting coach in the off-season and right now, his swing is pretty amazing.
I can't wait for the season to begin.
Logan is crazy about basketball right now because that's what he's playing. In the off-season I will try to sign him up for camps and other activities. He's got a lot of room for improvement in basketball, but he also has a lot of potential.
I don't want to push him into things, but I don't want him to fall short of his potential due to lack of guidance and support, either.
I am thinking a lot about his life after High School. Yes, he's only 9, but I'm his dad. I was looking at tuition and it looks like Ohio State is probably going to be our best bet. He'll have to work to get in. However, it's not unattainable.
He's been in love with the idea of going to OSU for about as long as he could talk. It'd be great if that's where he goes.
He asked me the other day if I thought he could ever play professional sports. Tough question, that. On the one hand, yeah, I know, the adult answer is that it's about like winning the lottery. If you added up the NFL, MLB and NBA players, you'd be talking about less than 2,000 guys. And they're recruited from all over the world.
So, frankly, getting into any of those at the professional level involves, in my opinion, exceptional athletic ability, combined with an exceptional work-ethic and probably a little bit of cheating with whatever performance enhancing drugs are being used at the time.
The reason I don't want to quash that dream, though, is not because I believe he will be a professional athlete, but because I believe that if sports is something he loves, he owes it to himself to be as good as he can possibly be.
If he aims for the NBA, and puts all his effort into basketball, and only plays High School basketball, that's farther than he would have gone without dedication and drive. He'd always have that to look back on fondly.
I think sometimes it doesn't matter so much what, exactly, you steer your kids into, but that the things they do are opportunities for you to teach them life lessons. First, to keep trying, even when things get hard. Second, that it takes hard work to achieve anything worthwhile. Third, that they should do what it takes to do the things they do well.
If Logan loved, say, airplanes, I'd do what I could to steer him that way. If he loved music, he'd have it made because there's almost no extreme I wouldn't go to in order to help him achieve that way.
The kid is just a jock. What can you say? I'm as surprised as you are. Given my (lack of) athletic ability, it's a little surprising that my kid would be athletic. He benefits from being built more like his mother, though. Long limbed and well built. One way or another, he's really got good skills. And any discussion of this would be incomplete if I didn't mention that he's always been absolutely the youngest kid on any team he's ever been on.
So, as long as he does sports, I want him to do them well, and I want to help him in any way I can.
Next year, we'll have tackle football, too. He's really looking forward to that.
Main focus this year, though, will be basketball. I need to get in shape, anyway, and I can do a lot of workouts with him in hoops.
So, the travel season is at hand. There's just nothing like it. It's a phenomenal experience.
Time keeps marching and with every month, my debt drops little by little and I manage to keep my head above water. Granted, I'd like more, but in this economy, I'll take it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)