It was October 15 of 2004 that I worked my last day as an employee. I'm reminded of this because I'm putting my first van up for sale right now. Back when the company consisted of me and a truck, this was the truck.
It's pretty old, now. Runs strong, but at almost 100,000 hard miles, it's going to be at a point where it's going to get unreliable. The truckmount (carpet cleaning machine) in it works great, but it's old, too. For years, that was my workhorse.
Funny to think back on how awesome these past 6 years have been. It's easy to compartmentalize them.
Year one: exhausting, not profitable, but encouraging.
Year two: money
Year three: more money.
Year four: even more money, country club membership, started to really get on a solid foundation.
Year five: First half, like year four. Second half, like year six.
Year six: total crap
It's not easy to be in small business, especially during times like these. Business has been awful.
Still, of all the things I've ever done in my life, these past six years have been, by far, the most enjoyable. I really love this.
I have a lot of anxiety about 2011. Things really died for us mid 2009. I kept thinking, "no way it can stay like this. 2010 has to be good."
Well... no, it doesn't. And there's nothing that says 2011 will be better. In fact, there's nothing to say that 2011 will be as good as 2010.
Still, you have to have a stubborn streak, and a bit of wild eyed optimism to be an entrepreneur.
All in all, I will probably be selling this business, for various reasons related to my long-term goals in life. After that, I'll be looking for something else to do. Maybe take a year off and clear my head. Who knows.
So, I start year 7 in not that much different shape than I was in when I very first opened my doors. There were three songs that I used to play to keep myself pumped up back then.
The first was the Push Stars, "Lucky Sevens". The lyrics that lifted me were, "Hey, disarray is just a moment away, but that's why I've survived all this time."
The next was the song "Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. Particularly the lyrics, "you live for the fight when that's all that you've got".
The last was "save a horse, ride a cowboy" by Big and Rich. Especially the lyrics, "I'm the only John Wayne left in this town."
When you own a small business and it struggles, there aren't a lot of choices left for you. You can just give up and wallow in self-pity. I've been there and done that. Eventually, though, you go all-in. You back up until your back is against the wall and you come out swinging.
A year from now, I could be writing anything. That I had to declare bankruptcy and take a job. I could be writing that my reorg worked and I made money despite another year of anemic volume. I could be rich again.
It's never dull. I guess that's why not everybody does it. It just isn't for everyone. There are plenty of days when I wonder if I'm really up to the task or not. There are other days when being an entreprenuer is a calling.
I still get a little weepy when I see a business close its doors. That's somebody's dreams that just got shattered, along with a big chunk of their financial well-being.
If I can keep this thing afloat, eventually, something will pan out. It's times like these that let you spend the money you make during good times with a clear conscience.
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