I've been dealing with some awful news for a day now. Wasn't sure what to say about it, or even IF I should say anything about it on my blog.
A friend of mine died about 24 hours ago. He worked 3rd shift and died at work. His name was Jon McCall, was a husband and a father of 2 kids who aren't that different than my son in age.
I didn't know Jon that well until a couple of years ago. Once a year, my Dad goes all out and sponsors a trip to Disneyland for all of his kids and grandkids. Jon and I, primarily due to the fact that our boys like to ride the same rides, spent a lot of time together walking around the park, and it was the first time I got to really know him.
I really, really enjoyed his company.
This has been a pretty crappy year for me in a lot of ways. There were some bright spots to be sure: I really like my new Navy unit. My son made a travel baseball team and the season was a blast. An exhausting blast, but a blast nonetheless.
So, the year wasn't devoid of joy, but with the economy, and trying to captain the ship of my business away from the rocks in an increasingly turbulent economic sea, it's been a nerve-wracking year. It's absolutely drained me.
It's been going on for a year and a half now, and I have to admit, it's been wearing me down.
Things like Jon's passing, though? It puts things in perspective. My heart breaks for his two wonderful kids. They are absolutely a joy to be around. Well-behaved, happy, bright, athletic. I just love them to death. He had been married to his wife for almost two decades, and she, just like everybody else in the family, is a remarkable and wonderful person.
How small my trials and tribulations seem in comparison. Every day I live to try and keep moving forward is a gift that I shouldn't ever take for granted.
There was a time, when deployment was a lot more likely, that I couldn't help but think what it would be like for my boy if he were to be handed the folded flag. It was sad to think of. To think that he would grow up with a hole in his heart where my memory would reside. That all his memories of me, regardless of how happy, would be bittersweet in the remembering. I have no doubt that he would have grown up to be a fine, quality young man in my absence.
Even so, there's a sadness about losing your parent that simply can't be reasoned away.
I hate whining, even though I do way more than my share of it. No matter how self-pitying I am, I know that there are people with real difficulties they're dealing with. Life isn't fair, but it's especially unfair to the people who have to deal with losing a loved one.
I remember learning this lesson early in my life. That I needed to appreciate the people in my life while they were around. There's no upside to waiting to tell people how you feel about them. I'd like to say that I hugged my son extra tight after hearing the terrible news about Jon. That's not true, though. I've always hugged him extra tight.
Life is a gift and we should appreciate every moment of it, and every minute we spend with our fellow passengers in time.
In the mean time, there is absolutely nothing I can do or say to Jon's family that will lessen the severity of this blow. The futility of it all is so maddenning.
All I can do is think how fortunate I was, after not-knowing him for so long, to have had a chance to get to know him and to form a genuine friendship.
I'm not a person who thinks there's a silver lining to everything. I also don't think everything is part of God's plan, unless we believe in a god who believes in capriciously killing off his creations and cruelly makes them suffer through war and disease. Sometimes things are just bad, and there's no getting around that.
So, Jon's passing? No offense to anybody's beliefs, but I don't think there's anything good about that at all.
However, there was good in his life. So, that's what I'll try to remember. Godspeed, Jon. You left us too soon.
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