Turning of the Seasons

I drove to work on Monday in the dark.  First time this year.  The days are already getting shorter.  The first day of Fall is still more than a month away, but it feels like I'm putting away this year's Summer, now.

Logan starts school in a couple of days.  His first football game is next week.  In the seasons of sports and school, the Summer is essentially over.  He's starting the seventh grade, now.  He plays football for his school and will try out for the basketball team sometime November.

I feel like I'm really missing out on parts of his life.  Like a good many fathers and sons, sports always connected us.  It was where we spent our quality time together.  It was where I taught him to catch, hit, throw and shoot.  It was where he taught me to be patient with him because he was always trying his best.

Life is slowly but surely getting better but being away from him is the worst.  I've seen the worst of the trials of last year.  Things are on a slow uphill climb to "better".  I'm on much more solid ground.

I still wish my life were different in a big way.  I wish I wasn't in a hotel 3 hours away.  I wish I could watch every practice.  I wish I could be there for every game.  I'm afraid that despite my best efforts, I may not be able to.

So, that's what keeps me from feeling really good about the way my life is at the moment.  What will I ever be able to do about it?  Hard to know at this point.  So, I just put one foot in front of the other and keep trying to make progress.

Sometimes, you just cowboy up and do the best you can do.

The Start of Another Year

August marks the beginning of another year of Federal Service for me, and another grade for Logan.  He's in the 7th grade this year.

Because my job is so far away, I miss out on a lot these days.  Can't be helped.  I figure my first preference in life would be to be local and take part in as much of his life as I can.  If I can't do that, my goal would be to have a high enough paying job to make it worth the separation.

My current situation is like the worst of both worlds.  I'm not sure how I'll get the time off to see his football and basketball games.

Still, all in all, at this point, I'm in much better shape than I was a year ago.  The past year was a never ending deluge of bad news that I had to deal with.  The worst part was that I couldn't just raise my hands and say, "no mas".  I had to endure wave after wave after wave.  Now, it's almost all in the past, other than my career and my separation from my son.

If only my job were local, my life would be close enough to ideal that I wouldn't gripe.  It's still an adjustment getting used to less money, but without having to essentially maintain two households, it could be done.

There will be a few interesting opportunities coming up, though.  I'll play my cards close to the vest until they come through.  But some real game-changer opportunities are on the horizon.

Until then, I just need to keep on keeping on.  I'll do what I can.  It's all I can do.