First, I guess I'll talk about the most obvious thing. The one that folks are most likely to notice when they see me in person. I've been able to start running again. Physically, I'm just much smaller. At first, it didn't seem like it, but it is absolutely true. I don't particularly like the act of running. My head does clear and I think clearly on what's on my mind, but the act of running, itself, has never really been joyful for me. After 3 miles or so, I settle into a sustainable tranquility, but it's never really fun. The other things, though? The impact on my life? Huge. My physical health, mental well-being, energy level, everything improves. Just had a routine blood test and they could have used my results as a textbook example of perfect bloodwork.
I haven't been able to run much for the past 10 years or so due to various injuries. Most notably, my 4 year battle with plantar fasciitis. Now, though, I'm running injury free. I'm trying not to push it too hard and end up broken again. We'll see. My routine is 6 miles, 3 or 4 times a week. If things continue to go well, I'll shoot for the AF Marathon in Fall of 2015.
So, fitness, all blue skies these days. I'm still lifting, but not as much. I haven't fully decided on a fitness goal. I'm just enjoying being in shape. If I do a fall marathon, I may give up the lifting for a while. I'll worry about that later.
Second, things in general have improved and because of that, so has my general mood. As I have whined incessantly about, things have been tough since 2009, and everything sorta crashed in 2012. The bad news all seems to be behind me at the moment, though. My feet are firmly beneath me and I'm feeling ready to explore what's next. I'm contemplating my next entrepreneurial step. Not sure what it is, but for the first time in a while, I'm sure it'll be something.
I will have to make some sort of change regarding my living situation. I have a year left on my service committment at my current job, but after that, I will be looking for something closer to my son. If I can't find that, I'll be moving closer to my job and go on the distance parenting schedule. (Instead of every other weekend, I'd have him half the summer.) I will probably continue to hang on to the current situation, as gruelling and expensive as it is, until then.
Lastly, and more importantly, I had an extraordinary person come into my life. Honestly, this is why I haven't been blogging. It's just that I didn't know what, if anything, I could say about this. Yet, at the same time, it's probably the biggest thing that's happened to me lately.
For reasons too personal, numerous and complicated to divulge publicly, I really can't talk a lot of specifics about this person. She's somebody who came into my life oddly and suddenly. We shared an extraordinary connection. It didn't hurt that she was smart and beautiful.
Timing truly is everything. She came into my life when I needed her most. I needed somebody to remind me that I was truly capable of caring about another person. I needed somebody to show me that there are people I can relate to, deeply and personally. I have never met another person who I connected with on this level, at this depth.
Unfortunately, because timing is, indeed, everything, I did not come into her life at a time when she was in a position to be ready for this to progress much beyond a complicated friendship. Or, maybe it's just me. Or maybe a combination of both. My heart was hers to take, but hers was not mine. The reasons why, ultimately, really don't matter.
Still, I find myself being more grateful than hearbroken in the end. You have to be grateful when a person comes into your life, picks you up and leaves you better than they found you. Life is made the greater by the people in your life. My life is greater now that she is part of mine.
